HEY WHAT A SURPRISE!!! It's 6:39am. I feel ashamed that I haven't been posting better art, or any at all, but in my defense, I have no tablet, scanner or printer. I moved out of my parents' house and in with people who aren't shitfaced cackmasters. SO. I thought, Hey, Im up, no one else is besides chairman meow and tweak, the Amazing stoner kitties, so i may as well contribute SOMEthing to society, be it painting an old ladies' fence, or writing about more transvestites.... yeah, that one sounds like more fun.

Once upon a time, there was a fag called Billy. He was a Belmont, and early in life, he moved away from his family for safety reasons. He lived In the district of Chloe-mydia, a humid and industrious land. He had a home in a box, and every night he would say his prayers to the great ashtray in the sky. Then he would tuck himself into his metal case, and dream ...
Billy couldn't sleep one night. He lay awake, staring at the metal plate 1 mm in front of his head just pondering what would become of him, and what the purpose of his existence was. "Maybe i'll be a firefighter," he thought. "Or maybe, I'll be a psychiatrist. They get all the poon anyways." Billy got up and cracked open a beer, plopped down in front of the window and stuck his hand in his filter. Suddenly, the door opened. Billy was embarrassed. He flew across the room into his metal case. He heard someone talking. "Hey Sally! Did you just see a cigarette fly across the room, or is that the Acid talking? HAHHAHAHAH" *insert scary laughter* Billy was relieved until he heard Sally: "YOu FUCKING CRACKED OUT BITCH, ima pop a cap in YO FAT ASS GANGSTUH!" Then sally reached into her stash, which was also billy's home, and grabbed him and put him in her mouth. "Christ, where the fresh sam fuck is my lighter, hoe?" she asked Chloe. Chloe had a seizure and started foaming at the mouth and pointed to the desk. Sally grabbed it and started flicking it. "GAD DAMMIT FAKKING CACK! THE ACCURSED LIGHTER IS EMPTY! Where is that hoe at? NAENAE, GIT YO ASS IN HEAW!" Denae fell off the ceiling and handed her the lighter. She said: "I saw the whole thing! That fag is alive! I saw him fapping it and then I started jacking off too and then I fell asleep..." But by that time, Billy had escaped with his lighter virginity intact. He ran and ran until he remembered he could fly, and then he flew into the Land of Confusing Fogs....
And then he woke up! "Wow, what a crazy dream!" He said.

And then Ziggy the cat lord ate him.

Gawl, you see what staying up late does to me? I need to snort some caffeine pills pronto.